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Archive for the ‘It’s not me, It’s you’ Category

dsc_0272Author Unknown

I am a shadow
One step behind

I am a storm
moving over the horizon

I am the wind
blowing from the North

I am the truth
underneath the facts

I am the ocean
with varying depths

I am the dream
in the midst of your mind

I am the emotion
behind the smile

I am the apprehension
behind the repartee

I am the book
that was never opened

I am the gift
that was never given

I am the soul
left unexplored

I am unknowable
without any questions

I am here
I am here

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Sunburn

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Sunburn

Sun
Sometimes you are no fun
Why am I the one?

Pain
I might go insane
I wish it would rain

Ouch
Just sitting on the couch
Turns me into a great big grouch

Yes another one.  I just love stupid little poems.
My inspiration for this poem? A sunburn given to me yesterday at the park.  Its not even Spring yet.  Oh how I am dreading the summer!!

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dscn2779Sleep is so wonderful.  Doesn’t Munch look peaceful?  I enjoy me some sleep everyday.  I love it.  However, this love affair is really cutting into who I want to be.  I wish I could say I am one of those really active people who doesn’t sit still.  Those people, and you know who you are, must get a lot of stuff done.  Not me.  I just don’t possess a huge amount of energy.  So me and sleep get along well.

Right now I am losing the battle with getting up early to enjoy the solitude of the morning.  Doesn’t that sound wonderful?  Enjoy the solitude of the morning.  Enjoy the sunrise.  Enjoy the birds singing.  Enjoy some alone time to be one with myself.  Enjoy some time to get stuff done.  This all sounds so rewarding to me, but I can’t seem to get my butt out of bed.  It’s that illogical, half asleep brain that talks me out of it every day.  “Oh, you should sleep more, you have a lot to get done and you don’t want to be tired.”  “You were really up too late last night, you better sleep in.”  “It isn’t even light out yet.  It’s not normal to get up now.  Go back to sleep.”  “Ugh, grunt, hmf, snort, sleep….”

I read a good article on Zen Habits about getting up early.  Sounds easily applicable, but not for me.  Each day its a struggle.  Maybe writing about it here will help give me some inspiration.  I need to break off this relationship now.

Dear Sleep,

You are a necessary and much loved part of my life.  But my life is taking on a new direction and I think we need a little space.  I will still visit often, but you must understand when I need to leave you.  Please stop with the drama of trying to pull be back in.

Thank you Sleep for all you have given me and I hope our new relationship is one we will cherish for a long, long time.

Sweet In the Middle

Anyone have any suggestions?  Maybe my illogical, half asleep brain will remember them tomorrow morning.

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Have I come full circle?  I am, I was a trial attorney working as a criminal prosecutor before Munch arrived.  Last night I dreamt that poor Dora the Explorer was on trial and I was prosecuting her.  I had a bigger than life size cut out of her and her actual evil cape in hand.

I was thrown into the trial at the last moment.  I had co-counsel, but she was brand new and didn’t know anything.  “Have you read the beginning of the story?” I asked her.  “No.”  she replied.  So as I’m walking into the small courtroom, I was reading the beginning of the story which consisted of the origins of Dora and some jewel.  Oh boy!

Then as we took our seats in the very small courtroom the judge, whom I think was the misdemeanor judge that I had worked with in my past life, wanted us to all blow our whistle.  A small surge of panic rose up through my chest as I couldn’t locate the whistle.  How could I forget it?  Now for those of you who have never attended a criminal trial, we don’t use whistles.  The surge of panic, however, is very common in criminal trials.  Now in my dream blowing the whistle was something to be expected from this judge.   I found my co-counsel’s whistle and handed it to her.  The whistling was coming across the room in a “wave” format, but the first person never stops as the next person joins in.  In the nick of time as the “wave” came to me, I found my whistle.  I made a mental note to put the whistle on a cord to where it around my neck for the next trial.

It really should have been Swiper the fox on trial.  I can’t imagine what Ms. Dora could have done.  I did not see Boots, Tiko, Benny Isa, Backpack, Map or the Fiesta Trio in attendance.  No, I never saw Ms. Dora at counsel’s table.  No, I have no idea what she did.  I like Dora and Munch loves her.  What does this say about me?  Too much Dora?  Yes.  A little lost love for my past life?  Yes.

All you ever wanted to know about Dora the Explorer can be found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dora_the_Explorer

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monster-002I would like to introduce you to a creature commonly seen around here.  I lovingly refer to him as “Monster.”  Believe me it wouldn’t be so lovingly if he were ever found inside my home.  I can’t believe people actually have them for pets.  That is truly scary to me!!!

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monster-009

Like Munch likes to say, “I scared Mommy!”

(I apologize for the picture quality.  It was taken before my new fang-dangled camera.)

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It’s 3 a.m. and I hear that familiar, very loud, beep…….Beep……BEep……BEEp……BEEP!  After having several dreams where I get up out of bed, search for my cell phone to no avail, I finally fully wake up and get up.  Now, its a very familiar beep that I know all too well so I have no problem knowing what I am looking for.  However, at 3 a.m. finding the little bugaboo is not so easy.  I dump the entire contents of my purse onto the dining room table.  Beep!  Its not in there.  I search the counters in the living room and on the bar.  It is usually in one of these 3 places, but sometimes a full blown house search is necessary which requires 3 a.m. brain to actually do a little functioning.  Where did I use it last?

Dear cell phone,

Why do you dislike me so?  I know you need to be charged and I am more than happy to do that for you if you could please let me know before I go to bed.  I know I depend on you quite a bit and you usually come through for me. I know you don’t ask much from me, just a little juice now and again.  If we could just come to a little agreement that you will tell me you are thirsty just a little sooner and I promise to not curse at you anymore and treat you with more respect.

Thank you dear cell phone.

Maybe my cell phone is telling me our relationship is more take than give and these 3 a.m wake up calls are my punishment.  Yes, I know I should just create a routine where I plug it in every evening before I go to bed.  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes.  And maybe these 3 a.m. wake up calls are life’s way of telling me to get my act together.

Dear Life,

I’m trying!

Thank you.

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july07-013I’m wondering if anyone hates the responsibility of providing dinner for their family.  I’m not a great cook.  I’m not even a good cook.  I would guess I’m pretty mediocre.

I don’t like cleaning the mess after.  I seemed to make quite a mess.  I know you are suppose to clean as you go, but that is complicated with a 2 year old hanging on you.  If I can distract her with a t.v. show (oh say it isn’t so), that may work for a short while until I hear the whine from the living room, “mommmmmy!”

Maybe if I had decent equipment, I would enjoy it more.  We are desperately in need of good pots and pans.  The ones I received at our wedding did not stand the test of time.  Not long after we started using them, the bottom of the pan began chipping off.  What is that stuff?  Is it the “non-stick” crap they put on the pans?  I don’t know, but we ate those specks for far too long.  Having a child put a stop to that.  Who knows what I have ingested from those pans and what sickness will befall me.

Then there is the trying to make healthy, low-fat/calorie meals.  I’m good at Sloppy Joe’s from a can, but how healthy is that?  Chicken is healthy, but I swear every recipe I make tastes the same.  I’ve been using All Recipes, which I love as much as I can love anything about cooking.  There are some great recipes and new ideas I have been attempting.

I do like challenges and that sometimes makes preparing a meal appealing.  I also like to be creative.  Sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn’t.  I think following the recipe exactly is boring or even using a recipe for that matter.

The worst part is shopping for ingredients.  Half the stuff I have never heard of.  Where do you find these things? Is it crucial to the recipe?  What do I do if I’m at the store and already bought all the ingredients to the recipe, except this weird thing I’ve never heard of and can’t find?

Then, there is Hubs.  Does anyone’s husband’s turn into a 2 year old when it comes to eating?  If it’s the weekend, “what’s for lunch?”  “Feel free to make your self something.”  “But I don’t know what there is to make.”  Do you have eyes?  Then there is dinner.  I get a phone call before he comes home.  “Is there dinner or should I pick something up?”  He means fast food which he is just as happy with, if not more happy than with the dinner I will make, especially if its chicken.  I guess that speaks to my skill level at preparing something as tasty as a Wendy’s burger.  If I haven’t made something, but suggest “Sandwich and Soup Night” he goes for the fast food option instead which of course leaves me desiring the same and feeling horribly guilty that my family will ingest said fast, full of fat, salt, calories and who knows what else – food.   Ugh!!

I just don’t like the responsibility of feeding my family.  It starts around lunch time.  What should we have?  What do I have available to make?  What do I feel like making?  What do I feel like eating?  What will make Hubs and Munchkin both happy?  Oh, the pressure……. How about some Wendy’s?

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