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Archive for February, 2009

Deep in Thought

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It’s 3 a.m. and I hear that familiar, very loud, beep…….Beep……BEep……BEEp……BEEP!  After having several dreams where I get up out of bed, search for my cell phone to no avail, I finally fully wake up and get up.  Now, its a very familiar beep that I know all too well so I have no problem knowing what I am looking for.  However, at 3 a.m. finding the little bugaboo is not so easy.  I dump the entire contents of my purse onto the dining room table.  Beep!  Its not in there.  I search the counters in the living room and on the bar.  It is usually in one of these 3 places, but sometimes a full blown house search is necessary which requires 3 a.m. brain to actually do a little functioning.  Where did I use it last?

Dear cell phone,

Why do you dislike me so?  I know you need to be charged and I am more than happy to do that for you if you could please let me know before I go to bed.  I know I depend on you quite a bit and you usually come through for me. I know you don’t ask much from me, just a little juice now and again.  If we could just come to a little agreement that you will tell me you are thirsty just a little sooner and I promise to not curse at you anymore and treat you with more respect.

Thank you dear cell phone.

Maybe my cell phone is telling me our relationship is more take than give and these 3 a.m wake up calls are my punishment.  Yes, I know I should just create a routine where I plug it in every evening before I go to bed.  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes.  And maybe these 3 a.m. wake up calls are life’s way of telling me to get my act together.

Dear Life,

I’m trying!

Thank you.

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july07-013I’m wondering if anyone hates the responsibility of providing dinner for their family.  I’m not a great cook.  I’m not even a good cook.  I would guess I’m pretty mediocre.

I don’t like cleaning the mess after.  I seemed to make quite a mess.  I know you are suppose to clean as you go, but that is complicated with a 2 year old hanging on you.  If I can distract her with a t.v. show (oh say it isn’t so), that may work for a short while until I hear the whine from the living room, “mommmmmy!”

Maybe if I had decent equipment, I would enjoy it more.  We are desperately in need of good pots and pans.  The ones I received at our wedding did not stand the test of time.  Not long after we started using them, the bottom of the pan began chipping off.  What is that stuff?  Is it the “non-stick” crap they put on the pans?  I don’t know, but we ate those specks for far too long.  Having a child put a stop to that.  Who knows what I have ingested from those pans and what sickness will befall me.

Then there is the trying to make healthy, low-fat/calorie meals.  I’m good at Sloppy Joe’s from a can, but how healthy is that?  Chicken is healthy, but I swear every recipe I make tastes the same.  I’ve been using All Recipes, which I love as much as I can love anything about cooking.  There are some great recipes and new ideas I have been attempting.

I do like challenges and that sometimes makes preparing a meal appealing.  I also like to be creative.  Sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn’t.  I think following the recipe exactly is boring or even using a recipe for that matter.

The worst part is shopping for ingredients.  Half the stuff I have never heard of.  Where do you find these things? Is it crucial to the recipe?  What do I do if I’m at the store and already bought all the ingredients to the recipe, except this weird thing I’ve never heard of and can’t find?

Then, there is Hubs.  Does anyone’s husband’s turn into a 2 year old when it comes to eating?  If it’s the weekend, “what’s for lunch?”  “Feel free to make your self something.”  “But I don’t know what there is to make.”  Do you have eyes?  Then there is dinner.  I get a phone call before he comes home.  “Is there dinner or should I pick something up?”  He means fast food which he is just as happy with, if not more happy than with the dinner I will make, especially if its chicken.  I guess that speaks to my skill level at preparing something as tasty as a Wendy’s burger.  If I haven’t made something, but suggest “Sandwich and Soup Night” he goes for the fast food option instead which of course leaves me desiring the same and feeling horribly guilty that my family will ingest said fast, full of fat, salt, calories and who knows what else – food.   Ugh!!

I just don’t like the responsibility of feeding my family.  It starts around lunch time.  What should we have?  What do I have available to make?  What do I feel like making?  What do I feel like eating?  What will make Hubs and Munchkin both happy?  Oh, the pressure……. How about some Wendy’s?

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We moved into our house here in the hill country about 3 years ago or so.  I didn’t know the house was already rented seasonally to some others.  I also didn’t know I would have to feed them.

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Now, I truly don’t like spiders, but I try not to harm any creatures.  One, it makes for bad karma, and two, its just not nice.  However, spiders often don’t make the cut.  But these Big Ol’ Daddy Long Legs do.  For some reason they don’t bother me as much as most spiders. I know they are not poisonous and can’t really bite any way.  If you are any where near our house during this vacation season, you might hear,  “SPIDER!!”  I said they don’t bother me AS MUCH as other spiders.  Hubs will  come and confiscate and put out the back door as he laughs, “Look he’s trying to bite me.”

I wish I didn’t have these very ungrateful borders so often.  And its not just mom and dad visiting, its Grandma, Grandpa, Cousin Mark, Aunt Ellie, Uncle Bob and even crazy Great Aunt Sue and all their friends.

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Banana Art

How to make banana art by Munchkin.

1.  Take the half of banana your mommy gave you and peel it.  Be very careful not to ruin the peel.

2.  Now take the banana and smoosh and break it into many little pieces.

3.  Now carefully place each smooshed piece back into the open banana peel.

Beauty!!

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SAHM II

There are also other things  I didn’t realize and didn’t get to do until I became a stay at home mom.

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Yesterday: Using an umbrella on a dreary rainy afternoon trying NOT to get wet

Today: Playing in the rain on a wonderful rainy afternoon

Yesterday: Focusing on myself and my career (which isn’t all bad, but something is missing)

Today: Focusing on the Munchkin and my family

Yesterday: A love I didn’t know about

Today: The discovery of a tremendous, amazing love

Yesterday: Subtle, sporadic laughter with colleagues

Today:  Belly aching, roll over laughter

Yesterday: Watching the plant grow (or die) in my office

Today: Watching a beautiful creature grow

Yesterday: Teaching new attorneys about their job

Today: Teaching Munchkin about EVERYTHING

Yesterday:  People thinking I’m OK

Today: Someone thinks I’m a Superhero

Yesterday: Bopping my head to a song while I prepare a case in my office

Today: Dancing like a fool with an amazing partner

Yesterday: Shopping all alone

Today: Shopping with a little friend

Yesterday: Contributing to  future generations through my recycling box

Today: Contributing a future generation

Yesterday: No time for breakfast

Today: Breakfast shared

Yesterday: Preplanned schedule of obligations with little room for alterations

Today: My own personally made schedule that is flexible

Yesterday: I wasn’t a mom

Today: I am a mommy!

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SAHM

march-08-127Being a stay at home mom is so wonderful and I of course wouldn’t change it for anything.  But like anything in life, it has its sacrifices.  I want to be the one to guide my daughter and I’m lucky enough to be able to do that, whatever the cost.  When people said its the hardest job, I never understood why.  Like taking care of a kid is that hard.  Hell, I did that when I was 12 years old babysitting.  Here’s what I didn’t know then.

Yesterday: Lunch at a restaurant with other adults

Today: Peanut butter and jelly and the constant phrase, “knees or bottom”

Yesterday: Sharing new ideas with colleagues

Today: Some other kid’s mom telling me how to potty train

Yesterday: Creativity abound for handling all my cases

Today: Creativity abound for which color to color Oscar the Grouch

Yesterday: After work drinks to celebrate a victory

Today: Water and passing out while trying to get the baby to sleep

Yesterday: “Atta-girl!”

Today: “MOMMY!”

Yesterday: Buying something because I worked so hard, I deserved it, and I made it

Today: Asking permission to buy a pair of pants because I’m not working and didn’t make it

Yesterday: Buying something because I can

Today: Not buying anything because I can’t

Yesterday: Having a reason to get dressed

Today: Wearing PJ’s all day because no one will notice anyway

Yesterday: Learning new ways to improve at my job

Today: Learning how to button a onesie

Yesterday: Talking business over the phone

Today: Checking e-mail every 2 minutes

Yesterday: Meeting and talking to new people everyday

Today: Talking too long to the cashier at the grocery store

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